I just found my diary from like 7 years ago but like are these normal things for a twelve year old to be thinking about? These are wack

“I’ve always wished I was a girl, it was only until a year ago I figured out I was, psychologically speaking. That is an uncomfortable fact to live with. I channel all my issues with this stupid genetic failure of mine on the internet.”

“I really want estrogen, I have dreams about getting it. I am on, what I like to call, my “estrogen quest” which is essentially my life purpose.”

“Back in elementary, I somtimes mentioned off handedly my embarrassing and intense desire to be a woman. Of course, then, I didn’t know it was a symptom of a serious mental disorder. When I did mention it, everyone would erupt in laughter. God fuck.”

(The last paragraph after I ended my diary and ended up repping for 2 years)

“For years my complicated emotions have dwelled but now they are free to eat me alive. School has grown to be the place where any simmer of myself washes away, in return I am given an escape from the reality of my situation. That’s really the best thing I can do right now. Distract myself. There is no way I am going to get any estrogen soon. So I just need to numb the pain. ”