What if I realized women have a greater capacity for sexual pleasure and just was envious and wanted to have a vagina because me wanted female orgasms and lesbian sex and then that developed into troon thoughts?
What if I realized women have a greater capacity for sexual pleasure and just was envious and wanted to have a vagina because me wanted female orgasms and lesbian sex and then that developed into troon thoughts?
I am sorry… it is very apparent that I am a rapehon… sexuality and generally any kind of such intimacy is so fucked up in my brain that my brain is just trying to find some reperative experience with whoever is willing to not see me as gross and gives me even one percent of attention… I am literally just like a neurotic traumatized child sometimes who is afriad and doesnt understand… I am an adult and I need to understand boundaries and not act in a bad way and I am sorry that I am probably such a rape monster… it is just that I just dont really idk understand and try to just somehow feel safe and I am really really sorry…
I also didnt mean it in some evil bad sexual or kinky or horny way…
I meant it like extremely literally… like literally being hit and then just given like a smal kiss and idk then maybe I am okay again cause I listened and obeyed and was good and was punished appropriately for being bad but now that I was I am somehow good again and because I listened and was punished I will then be rewarded by being allowed to even just have a second of affection…
I am sorry… I am just so messed up inside… I am sorry :(