I should’ve been just like her. But completely random circumstance created the environment for me to repress, and rot during a critical period.

It was so close. We were dealt similar cards. But those little shifts in the wrong direction put me on the back foot. And now I’m left this damage done to me; this trauma to my body

When I see her, and all the girls like her, I feel nothing but defeat in my heart. It was mere circumstance. I was defeated by circumstance.

And I’m left with the terrible idea that it’s all pointless. I’ll never get that life a girl should have. The circumstances took that from me; took my life. And I’ll never truly clear the effects of that horrific trauma, and defeat. It will ripple painfully throughout my whole, entire life.

All the while, those girls will be living their lives fully. And I’ll be there, looking on. It’s quite a beautiful sight, despite the pain it brings.